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Location: Right now? | News Flash: MusicMishka unable to play guitar for unknown period of time!
Please note that my following reportage may be inadvertently affected/tainted just a bit by my aforementioned head injuries. I’ll do my best, because after all, MM is an important member of our beloved OFC and I know you guys and gals would want to know. But please do keep in mind that there is a possibility my version is a little off.
Anyhoo …
It seems the good Reverend was repeatedly abused Tuesday afternoon due to required, pre-surgical “outpatient” diagnostic tests of the most torturous nature.
Now, I didn't want to bother him for too long, because he was obviously weak and suffering from the awfulness inflicted upon him earlier in the day. However, I’m nosey and wanted to know how he made out.
Anyway, as I listened to his restrained whimpering, I didn't MEAN to laugh. I don’t know WHY I laughed. Did you ever hear someone tell a story about how they saw someone fall and they laughed? Well, it was sort of like that … it’s that head injury thing again, I think. I mean, why else would I laugh at such news?
Here’s what happened:
It seems MM thought he was going in for an “EKG”; what he was really supposed to have done was something called an "EMG". I guess with all that pain HE doesn't have such a good attention span this week, either!
Being the gentleman he is, he made his appointment on time. The good man innocently trekked towards the hospital for his outpatient procedure, having absolutely no idea of what he was about to embark upon.
Without a CLUE as to his impending suffering (and I might add, without any prescribed pre-torture, I mean, "pre-procedure" medication to numb his brain or body), MM proceeded towards the medical facility.
Suddenly, he became um, 'uncomfortable'. The place didn't look right:
The "Procedure Room" made him even more uneasy:
And the um, technician guy didn’t look quite right, either!
Now, I don’t know much about any EMG test (although at one time I WAS an EKG technician), but MM explained it (sort of) like this: First they tied him down. Then, those creeps (my word, not MM’s) STUCK GIGANTIC needle(s) into his guitar playing, finger fretting arm. As he described the horror of it all, I imagined something like this:
(Photo swapped at authors request)
edited due to vegetarian protest
(However, I think in reality it was actually more like this):
THEN, they turned on the JUICE.
Yes, that’s right, they tried to electrocute the poor man’s arm. The sadist attendant repeated this action several times, until finally MM SCREAMED for mercy. Literally!
I think he even said the ‘D’ word (DANG!). He begged them to stop, and they did, but he has to go back again on Monday to FINISH it.
The poor man can’t move his arm let alone TYPE, and just FORGET about playing the guitar. It was bad enough he couldn't move his neck! Now, he pretty much can't hardly move anything! He's worse off than I am!
I’m going to have to send him one of my autoharps to keep him busy, and I still haven’t even gotten around to sending our other good fellow OFC member Standing HIS autoharp yet (don’t worry, Chuck … I meant what I said and I said what I meant and Willa is faithful 100% ~ OK back to the story)! At least he can sit that thing on the floor and use his toes to push the buttons and strum it!
Anyway, that's my story, and I'm stickin' to it. When he's able, MM might have a little bit different version of the facts.
(Kidding, Mikey ... I hope Monday isn't as awful. At least you know what your headed for next visit. I'll be thinking of you, and feeling sorry for Violetta 'cause she's got to listen to all of that whimperin' and moanin' you're going to be doing when you get home!)Think positively; the test will be completely finished by Monday night.
Sincerely, FEEL BETTER.
;)
Willa |
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Location: South of most, North of few | Wow, great slide show Willa. Mike, I hope they cure you (at least physically ;) ) after they finish experimenting on you. :eek: |
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Location: Michigan | Willa,
You should be working on your MFA in creative non fiction writing like my daughter. I felt like I was reading one of her essays. :) |
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Location: Vernon CT | Not sure what is really wrong with Mike,but, I wish for a fast recovery! |
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Location: New Hampsha | Best wishes for fast recovery, Mike.
When my wife had several EMGs for dystonia, the technicians took pride in telling us how they had "brought several 'Hell's Angels types' to their knees crying from the test."
It's pretty discomforting. |
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Location: Marlton, NJ | That's what happens when you own too many Taylors...
Get well Mike!!! |
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Location: Flahdaw | Originally posted by Mitzdawg:
When my wife had several EMGs for dystonia, the technicians took pride in telling us how they had "brought several 'Hell's Angels types' to their knees crying from the test."
It's pretty discomforting. |
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Location: Rego Park, NY, | Get Well soon Mike!! Those guitars you have need to be played. |
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Location: Right now? | Hey, Gang, me again.
Miles politely pointed out to me this morning that perhaps the "needles" photo was inappropriate for this forum, particularly because we have young members. I removed it from the Ning site, but at this writing it is still here.
As I wrote to Miles, I just want to apologize for my lack of discretion, and we certainly don't need anyone else falling and cracking their heads from fainting over such a graphic shot. I worked for the American Red Cross once upon a time and I have indeed seen many a big man fall from just looking at a needle.
I apologize to everyone for my insomniac escapades, and geesh! I'm embarrassed to think that my post may have brought on an ill-affect to anyone. I hope that is not the case, although I think Miles almost "went down" when he saw it.
I DO hope MM feels better and gets all this test and surgery nonsense overwith ASAP, and I PROMISE to THINK before I post next time. Let me make one thing particularly clear: MM had NO idea that I was writing what I wrote. I was just having some devilish fun with him.
No more photos! Good grief! And I love Ovation guitars (to stay on topic).
:rolleyes: :o :(
Willa |
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Location: Flahdaw | I was hoping that Duane Shelby Clingen could post a few interesting shots. |
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Location: closely held secret | Miles could always edit the photo out of the post if he wants. |
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Location: 6 String Ranch | That was the best part |
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Location: Michigan | Originally posted by Mitzdawg:
Best wishes for fast recovery, Mike.
When my wife had several EMGs for dystonia, the technicians took pride in telling us how they had "brought several 'Hell's Angels types' to their knees crying from the test."
It's pretty discomforting. Bad, bad techs. I had an EMG testing all (well almost all) parts of me. The Dr took pride in how little pain I felt. I did not really feel anything for most of them. That is what made Willa's post so funny (tongue in cheek) to me.
Hope you get back at the "O's soon Mike! |
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Location: Florida Central Gulf Coast | Willa, here's a more appropriate pic...
Edited for content... 
Mike, hang in there, my friend! Here's hoping you're back making that beautiful music shortly. Just remind the surgeon that your nose should point in the same direction as your toes... |
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Location: Right now? | Willa, here's a more appropriate pic...
There ya go! I knew I should have consulted with Iffy on the visuals. Thanks, Iffy!
;)
Willa |
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Location: Blue Ridge Mountains | Hi Group...
I had intended to stop in and bring everyone up to date on things through my one finger typing w/my right hand...but I had no idea it had already been documented (and strangely enough fairly accurately I might add...lol).
Thanks Willa for bringing a smile to my face this morning...great stuff...
The EMG test was completely unexpected and someone dropped the ball there...the needles are thin and not so painful but the voltage they conduct is gruesome...some of the worst pain I have ever gone through: seriously! I was supposed to have been medicated and they will make sure I am next Monday when I go for the rest of the test on my right arm...
As it was explained to me by Dr. Mengele post procedure, they are trying to identify which nerve's are involved so the surgery will not make things worse and they don't do more or less than is needed...(although after yesterday, that's probably a mute point).
Anyway, I will find out next Monday when and what they have in store for me...
Someone was wondering what is the problem...I have three bad discs in my neck that will be removed and replaced with spacers and a titanium plate (or two)...it is supposed to eliminate the constant pain I have lived with for the past several years...
As for playing the guitar, no it is not possible today as I wait for the pin cushion I have for a left arm to heal...but hopefully tomorrow.
Thanks for the well wishes and the humorous digs, etc. folks! This is a special group!
Later...(when I can type with two hands-thank goodness for spell check...)
MM |
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Location: Keepin' It Weird in Portland, OR | Hang in there Music!
Y'know? This almost makes me glad that I Don't have Health Insurance! :D |
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Location: Indiana | Hang in there Mike. |
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Location: Hot Springs, S.D. | Mike, they gave me one of those EMG's on MY left arm a few years ago when my cervical ribs (It's a congenital defect - little vestigal ribs growing out of my neck) started acting up again. I can attest to the pain. Although I WAS able to play guitar after the test, it was VERY uncomfortable. I hope part two of the test is much easier on you, and the surgery is a complete success.
And Willa, I knew you were a talented artist and photographer, as well as a guitarist, but I had no idea you could write so well. It's a good thing laughing doesn't make Mike's pain worse! |
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Location: Steeler Nation, Hudson Valley Contingent | Prayin' for ya Mike. |
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Location: The Great Pacific Northwest | Willa asked me to pull the post, but I just swapped out Iffy's pic...
All the best Mike. |
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Location: Jet City | Originally posted by MusicMishka:
I have three bad discs in my neck that will be removed and replaced with spacers and a titanium plate (or two) RoboMishka
Get well soon buddy. |
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Location: Cincinnati | I must have had a children's EMG performed on me because it didn't hurt. Either that or Mike wasn't a real Marine.
After you get those 3 discs repaired, you'll finally be able to play a 12 string.
Hope all goes well. Keep us posted. |
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Location: ms | I had the test twice and it hurt like heck both times. |
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Location: Florida Central Gulf Coast | ___________________________
edited due to vegetarian protest
___________________________
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Location: Phoenix AZ | THAT is funnier than hell. Nice one. |
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Location: Right now? | edited due to vegetarian protest
For once, I am actually left without ... words. What if I'd posted a photo of a shish kabob?
:eek:
Willa |
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Location: Flahdaw | Originally posted by WillaMuse:
edited due to vegetarian protest
For once, I am actually left without ... words. What if I'd posted a photo of a shish kabob?
:eek:
Willa |
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Location: Reisterstown, Maryland | Originally posted by Damon67:
Originally posted by MusicMishka:
[qb] I have three bad discs in my neck that will be removed and replaced with spacers and a titanium plate (or two) Good luck, MusicMiska. I'm having the same thing done this Monday only on my back at L5-S1.
I've had those things done on my back and legs, not fun.
Anita |
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Location: Hot Springs, S.D. | Anita, I hope everything goes well for you too! |
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Location: Right now? | Anita, I hope everything goes well for you too!
Yes! Anita! Ditto what Alison wrote.
Take care and watch out for that guy that did MM. Absolutely NO SHISH KABOB before the test, either!
;)
Willa |
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Location: GATLINBURG TENNESSEE :) | Mike, I can really have sypathy for you. I've been through over a dozen of those over the past ten years. Both hands, arms, neck, back and legs. Running the current through me (while various body parts flailed uncontrolably) didn't seem to bother me to the same degree as the part where they stick the needle into each one of the nerves and twisted it around for the the "best conductivity" Willa, The pictures reminded me SO MUCH of the VA Hospital where I had several of these done. Although the discussion does give me de-ja-vu, it IS very humorous. |
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Location: GATLINBURG TENNESSEE :) | This is not NEARLY as bad as the story my buddy told me, about where he had a root canal done with no anesthesia. He didn't like the idea of anesthesia, so he refused it. He told me the oral surgeon and the attendant's eyes were wide open as he clinched his hands on the arms of the chair. |
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Location: Flahdaw | Wait a minute! Are we talking about a Nerve Conduction Test? If so, I've had 3 of those things done in the space of one year, the last at Shands Teaching Hospital at the University of Florida just a few months ago. I could barely even feel them. Certainly nothing to fret about. I've never heard of anyone having a problem with these tests. Maybe you all are talking about something different. |
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Location: Blue Ridge Mountains | the part where they stick the needle into each one of the nerves and twisted it around for the the "best conductivity" Yes, that's the one...and yes, it lifted all 265 lbs of me off the table...
If so, I've had 3 of those things done in the space of one year, the last at Shands Teaching Hospital at the University of Florida just a few months ago. I could barely even feel them. Certainly nothing to fret about. I've never heard of anyone having a problem with these tests. Since I wasn't told about having the test, I don't know what it was called: all I know is that I have the marks on my arm from the needles; and the pain to match...
DB, could it be you didn't feel anything because you lost your nerve??? (LOL, sorry, I couldn't let that one pass; you were wide open ;) )...
not NEARLY as bad as the story my buddy told me, about where he had a root canal done with no anesthesia. He didn't like the idea of anesthesia Happens in Russia everyday....true! |
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Location: Utah | Originally posted by MusicMishka:
the needles are thin and not so painful but the voltage they conduct is gruesome...some of the worst pain I have ever gone through Mike, I hope it goes better next time! I've had a couple of EMG's on my lower back and legs due to lumbar disk problems. The shocks were akin to a 9v battery on the tongue, except for a few that were more like 30V. Overall not too bad really, I've had a lot worse. Necks must be worse than lower backs. |
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Location: Blue Ridge Mountains | Like I said, Dr. Mengele was running the electrodes...seriously, I'm not a wimp: it wasn't 9v stuff...I remember seeing 78 volts once...I couldn't see through the tears after that... |
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Location: in the land of enchantment | MM...Oh my...I've never even heard of that...sorry to hear about your pain...feel better soon.
R. |
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Location: Phoenix AZ | Ah ... Glad you're back mike |
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Location: Flahdaw | Originally posted by Gallerinski:
Ah ... Glad you're back mike Ah, ah, ah....you bet!
Those 12ver's need to be played. |
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Location: Utah | Originally posted by MusicMishka:
Like I said, Dr. Mengele was running the electrodes...seriously, I'm not a wimp: it wasn't 9v stuff...I remember seeing 78 volts once...I couldn't see through the tears after that... Oh I believe you. The doc said some people really have a bad time. I was lucky.
Some day over a beer I'll tell you about the no-anesthesia surgery I had to repair nerve damage due to Dr. Mengele's protoge known as The Butcher of Bernalillo. The doc had to find exactly the right nerve to cut because the wrong one would be very bad. Mature subject matter precludes telling about all of the procedures leading up to that surgery, but the result is that my lifetime of dignity was used up.
Good luck with your follow up and with the surgery. They can do miracles these days. |
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Location: Blue Ridge Mountains | Hi again: well, the arm is better today...just the usual neck pain...I spoke with several others who have had this surgery and they refused to go through with the procedure I went through on Monday...I said I didn't know I could opt out...lol
I am able to type with two hands again...still the same number of mistakes so that's not nerve connected I guess...
Thanks for the good thoughts...I will post what I can when I can...I think I am addicted to this place... :eek: :rolleyes: ;) :D |
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Location: NJ | ah. |
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Location: 6 String Ranch | AH... |
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Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066 | AH ah |
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Location: Hot Springs, S.D. | -CHOO!! |
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Location: Blue Ridge Mountains | Gesundheit!!! :D |
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Location: Texas | Until reading this thread, the only EMG’s I was aware of were pickups on one of my guitars… I hope I never have to experience the other kind.
Willa, I don't know whether to recommend that you need more rest yourself or that you should be working at Comedy Central, but your initial post was hysterically funny, and there WAS some real news in there regarding one of our own…
Mike, I hope it's not like the old story where a guitar-player has endured constant chronic neck pain for years which he describes as feeling like "knitting-needles being stuck in his neck." He consults numerous doctors, but they can't explain the cause. They suggest that the only solution is surgery, which will be a long, painful and expensive process, but he agrees out of desperation. He is forced to sell all of his guitars except one, just to pay for the deductible. He endures the painful EMG tests along with all the other prep work, and finally has the surgery. He is relieved to discover that he feels better immediately upon awakening from the anaesthesia. By the time he is released from the hospital, he feels terrific, so he decides to drop-in that very night to the open-mike at his local coffee house to celebrate. At the gig, just as he is pulling out his precious Adamas, some guy comments; “I used to play one of those, until my doctor said that playing a round-backed guitar was the cause of my neck pain. It was awful, it felt like someone was sticking knitting-needles in my neck…” ;)
I have been a little under-the-weather myself for a while, but after reading about Willa’s accidents, Mishka’s neck problems and all the other ailments afflicting members, I won’t complain… Maybe we need a new section; the “OFC Infirmary”… ;)
MM, you remain in our thoughts and prayers. This thread will seem much more humorous when you revisit it after your successful surgery… Best of Luck! |
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Location: Boise, Idaho | Wasn't that story originally about wearing shorts that were too tight? I assume Mike would have known if that was the problem after he spent a few minutes in a hospital gown. Sorry to leave that image. |
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Location: Florida Central Gulf Coast | Mike told me they didn't give him a gown. Would you...?!?!  |
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Location: south east Michigan | Ah... this is getting to be more than I want to know about. |
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Location: Atlanta, GA. | I once had to remove my own spleen with nothing but a sharpened guitar pick.
Luckily there was an old 1116 nearby and I used the high E string as sutures. |
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Location: Right now? | Luckily there was an old 1116 nearby and I used the high E string as sutures.
Colin, now stop that. You're going to make Miles pass out. You could have given me the 1116 and I would have removed the sutures for you, silly boy. I CAN change an E string, ya know.
;)
Willa |
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Location: Blue Ridge Mountains | I have no idea how this got so far off track...a common occurrence though....
I am fine for now, thanks all: onward thru the fog! |
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Location: everywhere | "MM unable to play the guitar!"
Yeah, we've heard him. He can't fuckin' sing for shit either. |
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Location: Cicero, NY | Ah...that's just not right, CR. |
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Location: Phoenix AZ | Please ignore the attention whore |
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Location: 6 String Ranch | done |
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Location: closely held secret | Which one? |
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Location: The Great Pacific Northwest | STRIKE THREEE !!!! |
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OT: News Flash: MM Unable to Play the Guitar!