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Joined:
January 2005
Posts: 161
Location: Atlanta GA | DOG DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing !
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing !
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomited on the
carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means,
and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with
the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so
he is safe. For now.... |
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Joined:
April 2007
Posts: 318
Location: Slightly northwest of Trader Jim | I have 6 ferral cats,3 of which let me pet them (as long as there is food in the bowl)I feed them, pet the one's that allow me , then they go away. Best damn cats I ever had! :D |
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Joined:
November 2006
Posts: 2241
Location: Simpsonville, SC | Gary, glad you like em buddy, you will have more soon! :eek: |
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Joined:
December 2006
Posts: 6996
Location: Jet City | You all thinking what I am?
GUITAR STRINGS!
There, back on topic. |
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Joined:
September 2004
Posts: 1180
Location: Vermont USA | What gauge cats are they?
Pauly |
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Joined:
November 2003
Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | I saw a bumper sticker this morning:
"Ask Me About Microwaving Cats For Fun And Profit" |
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Joined:
April 2007
Posts: 318
Location: Slightly northwest of Trader Jim | Originally posted by BegginJIM:
Gary, glad you like em buddy, you will have more soon! :eek: I said I have 6 ferral cats, I didn't mention that I started with 2. They started to come around only after the foxes left. I had 2 of those. ;) |
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Joined:
January 2002
Posts: 14127
Location: 6 String Ranch | There are a lot of ferrel cats on Amelia. I'm not a cat fan. |
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Joined:
February 2005
Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | Beal, while BB and I are out riding scooters, we'll see if we can reduce the count. |
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Joined:
November 2003
Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | You need one of these on the island...
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Joined:
March 2006
Posts: 482
Location: enid, ok | Chinese takeout! Strings are extra. They don't give anything away! |
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Joined:
May 2003
Posts: 4389
Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands | Gerbil Diaries:
They've returned Roy again. He keeps coming back freshly shampooed. He refuses to talk anymore. What's happening to him? I blame the cat. |
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Joined:
November 2003
Posts: 11039
Location: Earth·SolarSystem·LocalInterstellarCloud·Local Bub | ....We begin to dread the days Richard Gere calls.... |
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Joined:
March 2006
Posts: 482
Location: enid, ok | Even though it's probably not true, he's never going to live that down, is he? |
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OT - Pet Diary Humor