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December 2003
Posts: 13997
Location: Upper Left USA | Here's my political commentary for the Weekend.
Enjoy!
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia , formerly known as
California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the AmericanTerritory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet-seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines. |
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August 2006
Posts: 2804
Location: ranson,wva | damn woody..the sad thing is it could be true!!!! jason |
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December 2004
Posts: 1673
Location: SoCal | psst... jason... woody thinks it is true... just go along... he can get violent... he is why we can't talk politics on the Board.
They're not sure, but they suspect it's the fumes from all of the solvents and catalysts he uses when refinishing guitars. |
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August 2006
Posts: 2804
Location: ranson,wva | oh damn.....gotta watch the fumes!!!! jason |
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December 2004
Posts: 1673
Location: SoCal | ¡hola! Woody... How did those new strings work out on your 2036 Collector's? |
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December 2003
Posts: 13997
Location: Upper Left USA | What? No @#$*!$% Poll?
How about:
The Ovation Celebrity Website is now acknowledging the outdated "Made in USA" line with an "Antiquities" link on their Micro-Pod Head-Link site. |
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October 2005
Posts: 4081
Location: Utah | Originally posted by MWoody:
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. I don't watch the news much anymore, so you had me believing you until that one. You're such a liar! |
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December 2003
Posts: 13997
Location: Upper Left USA | These came from a Coworker this afternoon and just seemed like a great way to end a Friday.
Tomorrow is talk like a Pirate Day. |
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August 2006
Posts: 2804
Location: ranson,wva | arrrrrg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! man the bilge pump sailor!!!!!!!!!!!!..figured id go ahead and post cuse tomorow ill be in jersey...jason |
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January 2006
Posts: 1132
Location: NW Washington State | Q: What kind of socks do pirates wear?
A: arrrrgyles! |
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August 2006
Posts: 2804
Location: ranson,wva | i used to know a shit load of pirate jokes...ill be damned if i cant rember a friggin one of them...damn i thought i was too young to have alzhimers?? JAson |
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December 2003
Posts: 13997
Location: Upper Left USA | This guy walks into a Pirate bar and he's wearing a UAW shirt and has the most colorful Parrot on his shoulder. The Barkeep, looks at the Parrot and says "That's beyootiful! Whar'd ya get that?"
The Parrot says "Detroit!" "They're givin them away!"
Sorry Roger... |
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August 2005
Posts: 3736
Location: Sunshine State, Australia | Where's yer Buccaneers?
On me buckin' head! |
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July 2003
Posts: 1922
Location: Canton (Detroit), MI | Absolutely no offense taken, Mike, I'm not a UAW member, I'm salaried.
Of course, it will apply equally well to Ford salaried within 6 months!!! Lotsa buyouts and early retirement offers coming by the end of the year.
There are going to be a lot of unemployed people in the Detroit area next year. The real estate market in the metro Detroit area is already a disaster, it's almost impossible to sell a house.
Roger |
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OT - Future Headlines
