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Posts: 812
Location: Hicksville, NY | My apologies for the off topic post ... I just need a place to vent.
For seven years, I was a member of an English Ministry located in Queens where I served and participated in, faithfully and consistently with various groups and activities. Most recently, I was a member of the praise team where I played guitar, and once in a while, backup vocals.
After a briefing with the new pastor which left me feeling somewhat bitter about it, I decided to call it quits. After my last Sunday there, I wrote to him bidding my farewell ...
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October 15, 2006
Dear Pastor xxx,
I am happy to see that the 2:00 p.m. service is up and running again. Sadly, my attendance there today, was also going to be my last. After careful thought, consideration and prayer, I have decided to follow God's will to continue praising, glorifying, and serving Him at an English Ministry closer to home.
I cannot say enough wonderful things about XXXX, especially with all the friendships and camaraderie that I have shared and enjoyed in my years there. It will truly be memorable for many years to come. I am thankful for having had the opportunity to be a part of XXXX, and offer my best wishes to everyone for its continued success.
Sincerely yours,
Gil
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the very next day, here was his reply:
Thanks for letting me know
Good luck
xxx x
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That's it! I am amazed to know that I am expendable as the person sitting next to me. How sad...
Once again, I am sorry for the not-so-enthusiastic post ... I just needed to vent. |
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December 2003
Posts: 13996
Location: Upper Left USA | That separation can be a tough one. See what it is you are to experience and take part in next.
These are seasons. |
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January 2004
Posts: 1225
Location: Lake Hiawatha, New Jersey | Well, judging by the pastor's response, it sounds like you made good decision. |
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November 2005
Posts: 1126
Location: Omaha, NE | Try looking at it from his point of view. After all, it was you who rejected him.
And, respectfully, I am compelled to say that you shouldn't participate in ministry activities in order to feel elevated. We are all equal in the Eyes of the Lord, which indeed makes us "just as expendable as the person sitting next to [us]".
Please don't take offense at this. I hope this posting doesn't sound too "sharp". I am sure you will find a new place soon. |
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June 2006
Posts: 7307
Location: South of most, North of few | My .02, Omaha has a point. As a 90% drummer and 10% guitar player in our praise band, I find myself slipping into the self gratification thing now and then. We have to remember, we are SERVING the Lord in a musical capacity, not putting on a show for the people. Change is very hard to deal with sometimes. I have been tempted ot quit now and then when things don't go as expected, but I remind myself to look at the big picture. I'm sure there are better things in store for you. Your pastors response was a bit short, but as Omaha said, you had the issue with him, and as a former boss, who let me go said, "I hate long goodbyes" |
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December 2003
Posts: 13996
Location: Upper Left USA | This is a relevant post, in that Band dynamics, whether in a Worship or other setting are an interesting subject.
Few groups are "together" for a long period and each of us finds how replacable we are.
I have recently left a church body (not faith) because the rules/management/attitudes changed and it wasn't were I could minister anymore. I miss the musician's and many of the people immensely but I know it can't be like it was again.
I am finding it difficult to "drop in" to a new group immediately so I am trying to remain open to where I am being called. What I found in at least two churches is that as a "guitar Player" I am part of a saturated market! It would be easier if I were a bass player or if I played lead guitar.
I am thinking that it means I need to take some lessons and learn how to really play some of these solidbodies I have been putting together.
I may even become a better musician and minister.
I may have to take some uncomfortable steps!
I may even grow in this trial!
Does this sound like anything God might have a hand in? |
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December 2001
Posts: 10583
Location: NJ | a good friend ran the choir at a local church for over 12 years. A new pastor came in and he was just told not to show up any more. sad but these things happen. look at them as windows instead of doors. |
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Posts: 1634
Location: Chehalis, Washington | Exactly. After all, it's all just people, and we are all far from perfect. That's why we have Grace in the first place.
After leading a praise band for 3 years, I moved away (job-related) from my church and am slowly finding a place in a new one, currently playing acoustic guitar for 75 middle schoolers. :eek: :eek: :eek:
In the meantime, I have found joy in the time that I already spent leading, and though I am not playing in what I consider my best capacity right now, I have the joy of knowing that there is more in store for me in the future. I've met some great people, and some I didn't care for as much, but I am playing guitar and serving the Lord, which is the best that I can ever have!!!
Keep with it, bro - lots of us here to love you, and no one is expendable in the Kingdom! |
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April 2004
Posts: 13303
Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066 | The point of bitterness I got from Gil's post was that the pastor could have taken a few more mintues of his time and sent a slightly longer/more personal reply.
No one is expendable but seven years is long enough to receive a response with a little more compassion. |
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January 2005
Posts: 4903
Location: Phoenix AZ | I would not take his response personally. After all, you do not know the context within which it was written. Maybe his wife just died, maybe the house burned down, maybe he was sick, etc. You can't read more into emails than is actually there. He wished you good luck. Take that as a positive.
My son had a situation with an online fantasy baseball league a few years ago. He was communicating online with one of the members but only got these short one word responses and often mistyped. My son complained to me about how "the idiot" would not communicate with him and was so stuck up that he thinks "he's above us". Turned out the guy had lost both arms in an accident and typed using a stick in his mouth. Like I said, you can't read more into it than is actually there.
Dave |
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Posts: 15674
Location: SoCal | I fully expect that one day, when my church finds a real guitar player, that I'll be asked to leave.... it's only a matter of time. |
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Posts: 5331
Location: Cicero, NY | Is it the "Real Guitar Player Wanted" sign out front that makes you think that, Paul? |
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April 2006
Posts: 1138
Location: CT | Originally posted by moody, p.i.:
I fully expect that one day, when my church finds a real guitar player, that I'll be asked to leave.... it's only a matter of time. I hope this doesn't happen. Our Church has many musicians, and more than it's share of guitar players. The worship leader knows everyone's strengths and uses them as he sees fit. IMO, I suck as a 'Real' guitar player, but can read a little music, know notes and key signatures and can hold a beat. A couple of years ago a professional player signed up with the group, and I thought I would be phased out. I envy how he plays with seemingly no effort, and puts my playing to shame. Fast forward to now, I still see a little more playing time than him, because more often than not the worship leader needs background chording and arpeggios, not the ability for a lead break between modulations. If you're moved to a new church for one reason or another, maybe thats where your abilities can best be put to use for now. |
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Posts: 782
Location: Waurika OK | Gil,
Your feelings are only natural and I am glad you feel you can vent here. As you can see you have a lot of support.
At the end of this year I will have been the preacher at this congrgation for 18 years.
At the beginning, I told the leaders that if they decide they want to have someone else, I will not cause a problem. It would not be easy, but that is what I would do.
I have not been a preacher all my life, but whether in ministry or "secular" work, I have learned something. That by not becoming bitter new doors opened, every time!
Sometimes it was freeing me to do what I really wanted to do, other times it forced me to look for new opportunities, usually kicked me out of my comfort zone and pushed me to a new level of acheivement.
I didn't like those "low blows", disappointment and hurt feelings often accompanied them, and this is only natural for all of us.
Whether it is building callouses on your fingertips or character in ones life, real progress only comes from the painful things of life.
The truth is, we are as expendable as the person next to us. This is nothing against you as a person, it is just the reality of life.
Keep your chin up, look life straight in the eye, and forge ahead. |
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December 2004
Posts: 4394
Location: East Tennessee | Remember ' "Your windsheild is larger than your rearview mirror". |
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September 2004
Posts: 777
Location: East Wenatchee, WA | That's what I hate about email....but truth is, you have a couple of things to deal with.
First, keep in mind that a "resignation letter" in this sort of setting was probably not the proper way to handle it as brothers are supposed to go to brothers and settle their beef's eye to eye. It's hard, especially when we see another person heading a wrong direction and they don't see it, but still is needful.
Second, I look at participation in worship as a ministry. Ministries should be established by a call of the Spirit, not necessarily where our talents and own desires rest. So as others have stated, take a look at what God has for you now, and be careful not to let bitterness or resentment get going.
We are always going to offend each other at some point, and the one primary characteristic of Christ that us Christians seem to forget it GRACE. As noted, perhaps he was hurt by your letter, or had a bad day, or.....whatever the case, you must "grace" him in his response and either go and clear the air or leave it completely in the Lord's hands. Otherwise, it will eventually eat at you and impact your witness.
Hang in there, pray and let God show you where he wants to use you next. |
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April 2004
Posts: 13303
Location: Latitude 39.56819, Longitude -105.080066 | Originally posted by Gospel Guitar Guy:
Remember ' "Your windsheild is larger than your rearview mirror". What a GREAT GREAT saying that is! |
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Posts: 4394
Location: East Tennessee | stephent28,
I think it is a line from a country song not something I came up with. :cool:
I like what JeffreyD said. |
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November 2004
Posts: 4413
| Amazing how unChristian some paid Christians can be. Some of them even invade other countries. |
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Posts: 5331
Location: Cicero, NY | You just can't behave, can you...? |
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Posts: 4413
| Sorry. I was sitting here waiting for nthe rapture when the devil made me do it. |
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May 2003
Posts: 4389
Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands | Two observations:
1)A-holes play many roles, including the clergy and members of their flock.
2)Applying my Amazing Carnac powers, I cannot divine the truth based on this fact pattern. If it's only a band issue, bands break up all the time. Don't worry, you'll find a new group.
PS He didn't excommmunicate you did he?
PSS What's an English Ministry? God knows, they need it more than most! |
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November 2005
Posts: 4832
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | If you don't know what it is, how can you know they need more of it?
That kind of logic only works for Tequilla!
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Expendable? Well, we all have an expiry date. Just don't know what it is!
Everything else's a guess.
'course, that's more an agnostic way of looking at things. But at least we don't pretend to know things we don't... :rolleyes: |
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November 2004
Posts: 4413
| An English Ministry is a pastor who can spell. |
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Posts: 12759
Location: Boise, Idaho | Reminds me of the "Naughty Vicar" skits by Monty Python. |
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OT: we are expendable ... or are we?
