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Joined:
November 2006
Posts: 3969
| Found on the 'Net:
What are the two most frequent guitarist lies?
1. I am not too loud
2. I already turned it down
Q: What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin?
A: Who cares - neither one's a guitar.
Q: How do you get a guitar player to turn down?
A: Put sheet music in front of him.
Q: How many lead guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 6 - 1 to put the bulb in, and 5 to say, "I could have done that".
"Mommy! Mommy! I want to be a guitarist when I grow up!"
"Now Johnny, you know you can't do both."
Q: How many guitar players do you need to replace a flourescent light?
A: Five. One to actually do it, and four to reminisce about how much better the old tubes were.
Q: What's the difference between a guitar player and a bag of garbage?
A: The garbage gets taken out at least once a week.
Q: What's the difference between a lead guitarist and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist. |
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Joined:
July 2002
Posts: 1900
| I can relate to the mommy, mommy joke.. :) There's also got to be a classical guitarist joke in there somewhere... |
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Joined:
November 2004
Posts: 4413
| My 12 year old had already used the "I'm not too loud" one at band practise today.
AZnd when somebody asked him whether the sax or clarinet annoyed him the most he had replied "they're not guitars who cares?"
He thinks this list is wonderful. |
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Joined:
December 2004
Posts: 2150
Location: Orlando, FL | Nice one.
BTW, I already turned it down... |
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Joined:
February 2005
Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret |  |
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Joined:
February 2005
Posts: 11840
Location: closely held secret | Q: If you drop an Electric Guitar Player and a watermelon off a tall building, which would hit the ground first ?
A: Who cares ?
Q: What's the range for an Electric Guitar ?
A: About 20 yards if you have a good arm.
A banjo player wins $15 million in the lottery.
When a reporter asked "What are you going to do now?"
He replied "I'll keep on gigging until the money runs out." |
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January 2002
Posts: 14127
Location: 6 String Ranch | How do you get a guitarist off your front porch?
Pay him for the pizza. |
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Joined:
November 2004
Posts: 367
Location: Eaton, Indiana | Let me add one: What's the difference between a musician and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four. No sauce on the strings, please...
Scott Lamperd |
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Joined:
July 2003
Posts: 3111
Location: Nashville TN. | What do you call a guitaist who broke up with his girlfriend??????
Homeless |
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Joined:
December 2004
Posts: 370
Location: Isle of Man, UK | How do you know when there's a guitarist at the door?
The knocking gets faster, and he doesn't come in even when you shout.
JB |
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Joined:
November 2005
Posts: 4820
Location: Campbell River, British Columbia | Q: How does the bass player know when he's in tune?
A: All the tuning pegs are in a line. |
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Guitar humor
