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| Another creep in my area was just arrested for molesting a 6 y/o girl while giving her guitar lessons. Didn't know him but I knew another guy very well who has done time and now appears on the sex predators list on the internet. Nice.
These guys give the whole profession a black eye and it only takes a few to make everybody suspect.
PLEASE protect yourselves and do not be alone with a child. Make sure you are in full view of anyone and everyone. The better studios in my area have glass partitions or windows so each instructor and student are in view.
I don't teach, but if I did this would be the only way I'd accept a position. |
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Location: nyc area | First of all, there are creeps in every profession, bad people everywhere. I agree that windowed lesson rooms are a must. I also believe 6 years old is too young for structured guitar lessons. Group music classes are the way to go, just my .02. |
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Location: Utah | :mad:
Events like this make me wish for a little frontier justice. |
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Location: Steeler Nation, Hudson Valley Contingent | The realities of CSA (three words that make pretty much everyone feel VERY ill at ease) go far, FAR beyond what the average citizen is willing to discuss. And you're right about a few people stigmatizing and entire profession. If you have children in any programs where they are in the care of others, do yourself a favor and find an awareness session about preventing this from happening.
Originally posted by Losov:
PLEASE protect yourselves and do not be alone with a child. Make sure you are in full view of anyone and everyone. The better studios in my area have glass partitions or windows so each instructor and student are in view. Simple, practical, and surprisingly effective advice. Thanks Losov. |
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Location: Hot Springs, S.D. | Being a female teacher doesn't make much difference. My lessons are given in the open here in the shop. Kids are on Friday because they don't have school on Fridays here. Anyone can walk by and see what's going on.
One of the best pieces of advice I have heard for people with kids is, as you are tucking them into bed each and every night, ask them what the best thing is that happened to them all day. Then ask them what the worst thing is. Make it a ritual. Don't ask any leading questions, just ask about the best and worst things. They will become more and more comfortable with actually TALKING to you, and not feel threatened by telling you the truth if (God forbid) something really bad happens. Keep the communication flowing! |
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Location: south east Michigan | Originally posted by CanterburyStrings:
tucking them into bed each and every night, ask them what the best thing is that happened to them all day. My kids are all grown now but we did that, every night. |
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Location: Vernon CT | Not what I thought I was going to read about.
Makes me sick. Enough said! :mad: |
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Location: The Great Pacific Northwest | Just another reason to not have kids. |
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Location: Marlton, NJ | Originally posted by Mr. Ovation:
Just another reason to not have kids. Ouch |
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| And I thought I was a cynic.
My son got mugged for his cell phone on his way to school yesterday morning - it never occurred to me I shouldn't have had him. |
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Location: Cicero, NY | Tom wasn't hurt, was he? |
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| No - just very upset. The police were their usual useless selves. 13 year olds being mugged for their phones doesn't warrant any kind of interest on their part. |
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Location: Capital District, NY, USA Minor Outlying Islands | There's the same problem in the US with kids getting mugged for cell phones and ipods and the like. They're better off not carrying any of that crap.
And as for teaching, just do it in an open area where people can see you and don't close the door. |
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Location: Utah | Which is why my son takes Tae Kwon Do and my daughters carry a pocket knife whenever legal.
TKD teaches some very effective skills early on. After just a few months I tested my son, then 10 yrs old, after a creep tried twice to lure a neighbor girl. Even with my warning to my son to be gentle, he inflicted enough pain to prevent me from being able to maintain any kind of hold on him. Plus he has learned the mindset that he doesn't have to be a victim.
Both my girls have had significant defensive firearms training but they obviously can't carry firearms as teens. But a good knife is a handy tool that can be used as an effective defensive tool when some creep tries to drag them into a car in the mall parking lot after dark.
In England, though, self defense with any object is effectively against the law. Since the laws don't apply to the criminals, they happily find easy victims. |
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| Originally posted by FlySig:
TKD teaches some very effective skills early on. And you don't forget them. I took it in the early seventies, hadn't given it a moment's thought since. Until two years ago when a drunk assaulted a band member. I had the drunk in a come along and held him until the cops took him, and he was happy to see them. |
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Location: Boise, Idaho | We were talking about this issue yesterday, with the "news" of the conclusion of the investigation of the murder of the kid that led to the "America's Most Wanted" show. Even the most passive guy like me could easily beat the life out of someone who harmed his kid. To hell with the shotgun by the door. I'd strangle him with my bloody hands. |
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| Do you remember the news footage of the guy being extradited for having abducted and sexually assaulted a kid? They were bringing him through an airport when a guy at a bank of telephones (the kid's dad) spun around and blew the bad guy away. Sweet.
Didn't see it but heard about it. Still sweet. |
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Location: Boise, Idaho | I'm only a proponent of vigilante justice when I'm the vigilante. Someone pointed out that one of the down sides to the "AMW" type programs is that parents have become paranoid. I don't know if we're any worse than the prior generation, but we are paranoid. |
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Location: Tennessee | We had a situation here in Northern California about 10 years ago when the mother (Ellie Nessler) of an abducted and abused little boy blew away the perp in the courtroom. She ended up serving hard time despite the public being nearly 100% behind her. Even the sentencing judge say that he wish he didn't have to do it. |
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Location: Boise, Idaho | Back OT, in this climate, we do need to be careful. As a former coach, referee, and Girl Scout dad, I had too many experiences where it just wasn't comfortable being a dad. The paranoia is so bad that you almost can't be alone with your own daughter anymore and soon it will be true with sons. |
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Location: Utah | Originally posted by Mark in Boise:
I'm only a proponent of vigilante justice when I'm the vigilante. Someone pointed out that one of the down sides to the "AMW" type programs is that parents have become paranoid. I don't know if we're any worse than the prior generation, but we are paranoid. There's a difference between paranoia and awareness. The best tool out there is the Color Code of Mental Awareness. I think that all parents should teach it to their kids. We raise our kids to be polite, to respect their elders, and to not make fun of or otherwise embarrass people. So the kids then take that to mean that they should not take appropriate action when they should because they don't want to violate the social rules about their elders or potentially embarrassing a stranger. A 6 yr old is young enough that they need our direct protection. But by 10 they are old enough to use the Color Code. Here it is:
White: Oblivious. This is when you are watching a movie and you have no clue what is going on around you. It is a fine mental state at many times, but not at others. OK at the dinner table, not OK walking out to the car in the mall parking lot.
Green: Aware. I call this the "defensive driver" status. You are not paranoid, but you are aware of what's going on around you so that you will spot trouble before it bites you.
Yellow: Avoid. This is where you spot potential trouble and take avoidance actions. Maybe it's the three troubled looking youth approaching. Maybe it is just a creepy feeling that something isn't right about that guy out in the parking lot. So you cross the street or you go back into the mall and wait for the guy to drive away.
Red: Preparation. This is when you were not able to avoid. Maybe you were caught in Condition White, maybe the three troubled youth crossed the street when you did. This is when you prepare to have to protect yourself. Maybe you move so there is an obstacle between you and the person. Maybe you stand at an angle and drop shopping bags so you are ready to defend yourself. This is a good time to loudly order the person to "STOP. STAY AWAY FROM ME!". This is what many of our kids are inadvertently being taught not to do and what we have to teach them is ok. Kids will see trouble coming but then don't take action.
Black: Defending yourself. This is when your well being is in direct jeopardy and you must actively defend yourself.
Most victims of violent crime are caught in Condition White, or they let a situation progress without taking reasonable actions to avoid or evade.
IMO, it is not paranoia to teach our kids to be aware, and to teach them that their person is not to be violated.
Where that line is between paranoia and reasonable concern is pretty grey sometimes. Plus we don't want to destroy our young child's sense of security. Six year olds shouldn't have to know about or worry about abuse. I guess one of the burdens of being a parent is that we be paranoid for them. |
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Location: south east Michigan | I want revenge….
I’ll accept justice….
Mercy is negotiable….
But not very.
Solomon Short |
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Location: Keepin' It Weird in Portland, OR | Originally posted by Mark in Boise:
Someone pointed out that one of the down sides to the "AMW" type programs is that parents have become paranoid. I don't know if we're any worse than the prior generation, but we are paranoid. The downside of 'AMW' type programs is they are cheap to make.
Now "20/20" and "Primetime" are always about sex-offenders... Whereas they used to be about crooked politicians and vile corporations that ruin the environment.
If One guitar teacher or hitch-hiker or plumber commits a crime it is National News...
So All guitar teachers, hitch-hikers and plumbers are deviants.
The 'crime rate' is actually Down from the 70's but they put more people in prison.
Unfortunately, the current media-fed, sound-bite population has No Memory of anything that isn't in the current news cycle.
Be Afraid! Be Very Afraid! |
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Location: Scotland | Originally posted by Losov:
Do you remember the news footage of the guy being extradited for having abducted and sexually assaulted a kid? They were bringing him through an airport when a guy at a bank of telephones (the kid's dad) spun around and blew the bad guy away. Sweet.
Didn't see it but heard about it. Still sweet. And in the UK a few years ago a doctor was hounded from her home by the vigilante mentality because they were too stupid to understand the difference between a paedophile and a pediatrician. Vigilantism is not "sweet" regardless of the crime. |
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Posts: 5750
Location: Scotland | You know, the only connection with anything to do with music in this thread is an alleged guitar teacher who was a pervert. I can see this degenerating into unpleasantness. I'm done with it. May I suggest to the moderators that this thread is locked. Politics and religion are taboo here and the majority respect that. This subject is equally emotive. |
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A Note To All You Guitar Teachers
Forums Archive -> The Vault: 2008
